Aiming for the Guinness Book of Records for “World’s Most Obese Gay Couple”.NB: I am not actually gay, but I want this record bad!Must have several affairs with attractive women during relationship, before settling down with muggins here as my job draws in the moolah. Box #8 – Foul mouthed mother of 15 seeks reprobate rogue who is likely to make off with what little money I have. Box #9 – Britney Spears lookalike seeks her Jason Donovan doppelganger. Must know all the lyrics to Jason Donovan’s songs, and must have encyclopaedic knowledge of Jason Donavon’s career.Must be able to handle severe smoker’s cough, smoker’s stench, and 15 extremely poorly disciplined layabout kids. Will be frequenting numerous Jason Donovan and Britney Spears lookalike competitions. Box #10 – Woman with peculiarly shaped head seeks male with similarly distorted cranium.True love is, after all, like a sandwich; made up of two slabs of bread with filling.Okay, so that analogy isn’t very good, so just impute your concept into its place.Box #5 – Staunch Communist seeks Patriotic American for embarrassing dinner table arguments. Indoctrination of children vital – by age five I want them to have criminal records.
Must be so angry friends and relatives begin to complain about our endless anger. Box #13 – Admittedly somewhat unintelligent male seeks genius for humiliating debates.
Would also like to purchase a tandem bike, so save up. Box #17 – Morbidly obese woman seeks pretty little thing to run about and fetch her all manner of high fat foods.
Must not mind being ordered about in a deeply masculine voice.
Online romance " data-medium-file="https://professionalmorondotcom.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/online-romance.jpg? So we’ve gone and done it again; we’ve made a fantabulous reaction from people (we advertised for participants away from this site so as to surprise you all) and we’ve successfully siphoned out the more psychotic psychopaths and weirdoes who contacted us.
w=300" data-large-file="https://professionalmorondotcom.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/online-romance.jpg? w=150&h=100 150w, https://professionalmorondotcom.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/online-romance.jpg? w=300&h=199 300w" sizes="(max-width: 712px) 100vw, 712px" / About a year ago we did a Dating Column for our readers. However, we’re not ones to back away from an idea and, consequently, we’ve done a follow up Lonely Hearts column to assuage our reader’s lust for social interactivity.