Show me dirty chat lines free

I spent over a grand on Viagra today, only to come here and see you and find out that I don't need it after all.

Do you know the difference between my dick and a chicken wing?

Hey baby, I think you just made my two by four into a four by eight.

Hi, I’m wasted but this condom in my pocket doesn't have to be. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' between 'F' and 'CK’ F**k me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura? Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore - my face should be among them.

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Why pay for a bra, when I would gladly hold your boobs up all day for free? That dress looks great on you..a matter of fact, so would I. If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me come for dinner between the holidays? Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand. Are you spaghetti cause I want you to meat my balls.

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