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The other person listens with empathy and shares dissatisfaction in his/her relationship.

A bond, a sharing of intimacies and emotions; boundaries crossed, secrecy. Think about the amount of time you spend with your spouse vs. Day after day, maybe 40 hours a week, you and your colleagues share the ups and downs of work; you bond over projects, successes and difficulties at work.

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With the click of a mouse and the least harmful of intentions you search for an old love.The secret feels exciting as you hide it from your spouse and rationalize that this is not “cheating” since there is no physical contact; but the emotional attachment you develop with this person can be devastating to your spouse.The more intimate the connection with someone outside your marriage, the deeper the head and heart bond with your spouse becomes compromised. Curiosity about high school sweethearts, old flames from college and lost loves can be dangerous, especially when there is a drifting or emptiness in your marriage.Taking the next step by emailing or friending him/her on Facebook seems harmless enough.However this may begin an unanticipated cascade of dreamy feelings and thoughts.

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